They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love
Guest Feature
There is a song that goes: “They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes they will know we are Christians by our love!”
The words of this song bring back memories of my childhood. It was sung frequently at St. Monica’s. It was also one of the songs my family chose to sing when we had a Mass said in our home by our parish priest with neighbors present to share in the Eucharist. The words to this song made an impression on me as to how I should live my life. I can remember even in grade school thinking that the mantra for my life should be two fold, Love one another as I would want to be loved and strive to make a difference in the world. You can ask my children and grandchildren that I frequently tell them that you can attract more bees with honey than with vinegar. In other words, just be nice even when you don’t want to be or when situations tempts you to be mean. I have tried to live by these two things, though I know I haven’t always been successful.
Many of the Mass readings since Easter have been about love. For example, in last Sunday’s Gospel we heard Jesus giving us a new commandment: “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” When I read the Gospel passage from John, the words of the song “They will know we are Christians by our love” popped into my mind. It made me stop and reflect “Do my actions show those around me that I am a follower of Christ, a Christian, loving others as Jesus loves me?”
I listen to the Hallow App podcast, Daily Reflections with Jeff Cavins and Jonathon Roumie. Recently Jeff shared 7 ways to show others how we are to love as disciples of our Lord. As I listened to what Jeff said, I took a deep look into myself to see if I am being a good disciple of Christ. Am I a positive witness or am I not sharing the love that God has given me with others. I want to share my reflections on these 7 ways to love.
1. Be devoted to others in brotherly love - it may be easier to show brotherly love to family members, but do I show that same brotherly love to others, especially my fellow parishioners? Do I willing move over to let someone else sit in the pew allowing them to take my favorite seat at the end of the pew? Do I get annoyed at the family with all the kids by avoiding sitting behind them or saying something to the parents about how unruly their children are? What would showing brotherly love do in these situations? Showing brotherly love to those around us could be as simple as letting someone out into traffic, or offering to take the grocery cart from someone, especially the elderly or handicapped to save them the extra steps to return it to the proper place.
2. Honor one another - We should strive to place others above ourself. Rejoice in others’ success and don’t be envious. For example, it is all too often when listening to what the person is sharing you may be tempted to interrupt, changing the focus on yourself instead of celebrating their accomplishments. When I want to interrupt and tell my story instead of listening, I have to remind myself that I need to decrease so that the Lord can increase, including honoring those who I am listening to.
3. Serve one another - We are to follow Jesus’ example at the last supper when He washed the disciple’s feet showing us how we are to serve others with love. Do I show love for my fellow parishioners all the time? Or is it just at Mass during the sign of peace? Am I willing to help our parish by filling in for adoration, willing to help at festivals, or make food for a mercy meal, participate in a bible study? These are all ways that we can submit to be servants to one another out of reference to Christ
4. Accept One Another just as Jesus accepts you - This is what we do or do not do to others, it is how we submit to someone in reverence to Christ. I know I am a sinful woman, yet I know that Jesus loves me despite all my flaws. Therefore, to truly love one another I know I should try to be like Jesus and love and accept everyone. But let me tell you, striving to accept everyone can be very hard especially when I judge that the other person is not living a life that Christ would want them to live. It is at these times I have to step out of my comfort zone, take a deep breath and accept others where they are in life in the hopes that by my example of loving them despite their failures that they will come to know Jesus in their life.
5. Bearing with one another - This means tolerating someone else even though they do something that really bothers you. For example that person who always interrupts the conversation, or the person who always tries to one up you, or chews with their mouth open. Oh how irritating these and so many other “faults” can seem and if you are like me, at times I want to avoid these people. When I don’t love and bear with others, accepting them as they are, I am not allowing the grace of love given from God to me to flow into them. Bearing one another also includes forgiving one another. For us to love as Christ loves us we must forgive others just as the Lord forgives us. Now this can be very hard. I have had several instances in my life where I have been hurt very deeply by friends or family members. I struggled with forgiving them, because I did not fully understand why the reasons why hurt me. Believe me I have visited the confessional many times asking for forgiveness and asking how I can go about forgiving those who have hurt me. Receiving our Lords’ love and mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation has helped me to love others as Christ loves me not just in good times but in bad times.
6. Encourage one another - In both the good times and the difficult times. It is especially during the hard times when others may not see or feel the love of God and it is through our love, encouragement and compassion the person can feel the touch of God. This is especially true when they have lost a loved one. When my mother passed away March 25, 2020 the covid lockdown had just started. There was no social interaction, no schools, no Mass, no funeral homes were open to the public. Everyone was afraid of contracting covid. We stayed in our home, secluded and isolated and for me this just increased my sadness. Then one day a dear friend drove up our driveway, got out of her car and called for me. She stood by her car reaching out in the motion of a hug while I was standing on the porch stoop. That one small gesture of love showed me God’s love for me, and I knew I was not alone during this difficult time in my life.
7. Bear one another’s burdens - We are called by in our Catholic faith to bear the burdens of others and therefore fulfill the law of Christ to love one another. We can start being a witness to the world first with the ones in our home. For example, I support Jim when his schedule at work, at home and for the church has him going non stop. During these times I make sure he has meals to eat, uninterrupted times to rest and avoid asking him to do “extra work around the house”. Bearing one another burdens means more than just our family, it includes our church family, our neighbors and the marginalized. God shares with us in the Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation the outpouring of the love between God and Jesus with the gifts of the Holy Spirit. The gifts of the Holy Spirit are Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Fortitude, Knowledge, Piety, and Fear of God (meaning reverence of God and avoiding separation from God). I frequently call on the Holy Spirit to fill my heart with the gifts of the Holy Spirit. “Come Holy Spirit fill the hearts of the faithful, enkindle in them the fire of your love.” These gifts will arm us with the tools we need to let those around us know that we are Christians by our Love.
To quote St. John of the Cross:
“At the end of life, we will be judged on love alone.”
Written by: Mary Sturgeon
About Mary:
Mary Sturgeon was raised in a Catholic home and attended Catholic grade school. As a child she loved the Magnificat, the rosary and after learning about the sacrament of baptism in second grade she would frequently practice baptism on her stuff animals, because you never know when you would need to baptize in an emergency. In 1978, six weeks after graduating as an RN from Nursing School, Mary married her high school sweetheart, Dcn. Jim Sturgeon. Mary and Jim were called to work in marriage enrichment ministry with Marriage Encounter for over 25 years, whose motto was “Love one another as I have Loved you”. Mary first worked as a nurse in the Newborn Nursery where practicing baptizing paid off when helping bereaved parents with the loss of their children. Mary then worked part time in various hospital nursing positions while also working part time as the school nurse for the Notre Dame Schools until retirement in 2022. Mary has witnessed and personally experienced what happens when love is not shared with others. Her hope is that the world will become a better place if we would only love as Jesus loves.