The Gift of His Peace

As I shared recently, peace is both something that Sacred Scripture calls us to pursue, but it is also a gift—something we freely receive. This past year, I have experienced this gift like never before. 

Last spring I was a college senior, eager to graduate, and full of zeal to enter the next chapter of my life— a chapter which I had been working towards and anticipating for so long; I hoped to make a difference in the lives of young students in our community as a teacher. As I began applying for jobs and planning for this new chapter, something arose that I never dreamed would be a reality. 

In the midst of the busy and fast-paced life that I was living, I discovered a large and abnormal lymph node on the side of my neck and an enlarged thyroid gland. Having a thyroid disorder, I brushed it off as it was nothing and continued to pursue the doors that were opening ahead of me. However, I made doctor appointments to make sure that everything was fine as I suspected. 

Appointment after appointment, the reality that I was sick despite looking like a healthy 22 year old girl from the outside quickly began to set in. I came to the reality that cancer could very well be growing within my body. 

Cancer.

The big “C” word which is frequently accompanied by crippling fear and anxiety. 

Yet in the days of all the tests, labwork, and scans, I never once felt fear or anxiety. The Lord was doing something in my heart. He was preparing me for the reality which I would soon come to face. As I waited on my test results to come back, going about my daily life, I found myself drawn to listen to a homily from Father Mike Schmidts. In that homily, Father Mike was preaching on how the Lord places or allows things in our life to happen in order to sanctify us, purify our hearts, and to lead us closer to Him. He began listing examples, and during this time I felt a prompting from the Spirit that he was going to say that big C word. Sure enough, the last example he shared was indeed that word: cancer. 

I remember at that moment knowing deep in my soul and saying to myself, “I have cancer.” With this conviction in my heart, I was not scared in the slightest. Nor was I when that conviction was confirmed through my biopsy results shortly after. I was at peace and began to experience the kind of peace which the Apostle Paul talks about in his letter to the Philippians. 

“Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7; NABRE)

As I sit here writing this reflection, I am three weeks out from an extensive surgery that saved my life. While I am so grateful for the gift of life, my mind is still trying to wrap my head around this peace which God so graciously bestowed upon me. This past year and even the future ahead of me could be one where I was/am filled with much anxiety and fear. Sure there have been difficult days and tests to endure, but never once have I felt overcome by those things regarding my diagnosis. 

I have come to realize that I will never be able to understand the peace which I have received this past year and moving forward as I enter the final steps of my treatment. St. Paul was indeed right, Christ’s peace surpasses all understanding. One thing that I do know for certain, though, is that it has nothing to do with who I am, but who God is. Peace is a gift freely given, and that is a testament to the loving and merciful character of God.

I believe without a doubt that the prayers which I have been showered with and have poured out at the Father’s feet myself have given me the strength to endure this season and encounter the beautiful gift of God’s peace.

Whatever storm that you are going through right now or which may arise in the future, know that God wants you to experience that same peace, the peace He never tires to offer. All you have to do is “ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Luke 11:9). The Father is good and He desires the ultimate good for your life. He desires to lavish us as His children. So, let Him lavish you with the gift of His peace. 

WRITTEN BY:

Alexis Graf