How Grief Grew My Faith
Guest Feature
There’s a weird beauty in hardship—it’s a rollercoaster ride of hurting, healing, breaking and rebuilding. Obviously, I didn’t choose the battles I’ve experienced, but looking back I can say my hardships have brought many unexpected blessings. Grief, loss, uncertainty, and surrender all created deeper roots in my faith—more than comfort ever could. I had never realized just how dangerous comfort could be to your relationship with Jesus.
When Jeremy was diagnosed with brain cancer, our world literally changed overnight. Everything became heavier, more meaningful, and fragile all at the same time. My life was consumed with scans, hospital stays, appointments, and caretaking. Time slowed in some ways, and it was in those quiet, extra painful days, I found a different kind of faith in God. Not the kind of faith you proclaim when everything is going awesome, but the kind you have when there are no answers and pure desperation.
Caring for Jeremy was the hardest and most holy season of my life. There were days I didn’t think I had the strength to do it, but somehow grace met me in my darkness. The grace I experienced were in the “small” things like an extra caring nurse, a song that played at just the right time, or a morning devotional that reminded me I wasn’t in this alone.
Believe it or not, our family laughed more than you would think but we also cried a lot, too—however, there was joy— even while we were suffering. We found ways to hold on to each other, to celebrate small wins, and to find light on extra hard days.
During it all, my daughters showed me what real faith looks like. Never did they question God’s goodness or His plan for their daddy—their childlike trust strengthened my faith even more. It reminded me that even when we don’t understand, we can still believe and when the story ends differently than we so desperately prayed for, we can still trust the Author.
When Jeremy passed, my pain was unbearable, and it still can be. However, on the other side of my grief has been a peace that still doesn’t make sense to me and a closeness with God that I never could have reached without first walking through this journey.
Along the way, I learned to surrender everything—my fear, my plans, my future. I laid it all at the feet of Jesus, because I couldn’t carry it anymore. It was in my surrender that I untapped a strength I never knew I had in me and this surrender still shapes my life today. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out. But I no longer try to control every outcome. I simply trust God.
I used to think bearing fruit meant being super productive and accumulating accomplishments but now, I know it really means abiding, trusting and letting yourself be held by Christ when you can’t stand on your own.
My hardships made me a different person. I have changed in so many ways and because I love a good list, here are just a few of the ways:
Unshakable faith.
A deeper capacity to love.
Gratitude for the day to day.
Joy that doesn't depend on my life’s circumstances.
Compassion—for every person walking through something unseen.
And a front-row seat to the beauty of childlike faith.
If you're in a season of pain, God is still growing something in you. Surrender what you can’t carry with you anymore and watch Him make something beautiful out of it.
Written by: Maddie Kehoe-Burnside
About Maddie:
Maddie Kehoe-Burnside is a wife, mother, business owner, passionate about faith, food, and community. After enduring deep personal loss, she found purpose in rebuilding—both in her life and in a historic building, which is now a restaurant and gathering space in Portsmouth, Ohio. Maddie shares her story to encourage others to stay rooted in faith through life’s hardest seasons, believing that even in brokenness, God brings beauty and fruit.